Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
