so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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