hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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