Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
