You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
