I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize