my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
