My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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