Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
