Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
