Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
