Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
