Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
