happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
