I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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