your parents love me but you hate me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
