Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
