No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
