But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
