I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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