he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
