I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
