Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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