If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
