That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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