ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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