Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
