It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
porn star boner night. come get it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
