Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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