it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
