Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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