Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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