The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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