I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
