so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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