I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
