my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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