Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
now i know why i became what i already was.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
