his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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