The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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