it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize