But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
