It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
