I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
