I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
