Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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