how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
