So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
