I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
