anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
