sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
