I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
