My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
