I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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