We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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