just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
