He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We were destined to go to rehab together
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
