so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
