How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Girls should come with a carfax report
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
