living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My bed smells like the plague
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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