I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
