guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
