oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize