Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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