ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
