Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize