i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
