She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
