You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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